road to nowhere

i havent write for quite a while. i was pretty much roasted when i got home. on my last day at work i never thought that i would be so happy and relieve.

i mean pretty much now, we both jobless. feel pretty suck. feel my ego bruised.
but i didnt realize how much my body screaming for rest. A total and complete rest.
I miss some of my colleagues but as l'Americano said, "once you feel like you dragging yourself to work, it's time to hit the road". indeed, he was right!
that's exactly my feeling after they let my boss go. it was difficult to discuss something that should take a split of second decision to hours of explaining.
My doc keep on asking me to slow down. i forgot that i am no longer a spring chicken.

well i guess back to be frugal. and the worst part going back to job hunting.
re-writing resume is a pain task.
am looking forward to berhijrah somewhere in gulf states. close to home and hopefully we can finally pay our last duty to do pilgrimage.

money is good too. but again when M said that the furries have to be confined at home. my body shuttered. you cannot confined the boys, once they tasted the freedom, they will never turn back.

of course if i want to list the cons, the list has no end.

but for now, i am taking it a day at a time. as M put it, " you dont have to worry a thing "

bless your soul dear beautiful husband

and it begins

exactly at 09h45 18/12/2015, i saw the first heartbeat.

May Allah make it easy and safe.

my reference to itchy scalp

www.justgrowalready.com/2011/08/current-oil-mix.html

Treating My Itchy Scalp: My Current Oil Mix

For about a month, I have been applying a mix of coconut, lavender, eucalyptus, and tea tree oil to my scalp before I wash (as my hot oil treatment) and to my scalp 1 or 2 days a week for a scalp massage. The oil mix has really helped with the serborrheic dermatitis that has been terrorizing my scalp since June. My scalp isn't as itchy and the scales of dandruff (doesn't that sound gross? haha) are now limited to the front portion of my head, near my widows peak, whereas before, I experienced dandruff all over. I've found that when I apply and massage the oil mix into my scalp the day after I wash, my scalp does a lot better during the week. Applying the oil before SD flares up diminishes it during the week.

I've decided to add vitamin E oil to the mix for it's healing properties. Hopefully I can report in a few weeks that my scalp is faring even better.

Edited the post to include how much of what is in the mix:

1 oz of coconut oil
8 drops of lavender oil
8 drops of eucalyptus oil
8 drops of tea tree oil
20 drops of vitamin E oil

With smiles,

- See more at: http://www.justgrowalready.com/2011/08/current-oil-mix.html#sthash.v85zjddx.dpuf

Treating My Itchy Scalp: My Current Oil Mix

For about a month, I have been applying a mix of coconut, lavender, eucalyptus, and tea tree oil to my scalp before I wash (as my hot oil treatment) and to my scalp 1 or 2 days a week for a scalp massage. The oil mix has really helped with the serborrheic dermatitis that has been terrorizing my scalp since June. My scalp isn't as itchy and the scales of dandruff (doesn't that sound gross? haha) are now limited to the front portion of my head, near my widows peak, whereas before, I experienced dandruff all over. I've found that when I apply and massage the oil mix into my scalp the day after I wash, my scalp does a lot better during the week. Applying the oil before SD flares up diminishes it during the week.

I've decided to add vitamin E oil to the mix for it's healing properties. Hopefully I can report in a few weeks that my scalp is faring even better.

Edited the post to include how much of what is in the mix:

1 oz of coconut oil
8 drops of lavender oil
8 drops of eucalyptus oil
8 drops of tea tree oil
20 drops of vitamin E oil

With smiles,

- See more at: http://www.justgrowalready.com/2011/08/current-oil-mix.html#sthash.v85zjddx.dpuf

Treating My Itchy Scalp: My Current Oil Mix

For about a month, I have been applying a mix of coconut, lavender, eucalyptus, and tea tree oil to my scalp before I wash (as my hot oil treatment) and to my scalp 1 or 2 days a week for a scalp massage. The oil mix has really helped with the serborrheic dermatitis that has been terrorizing my scalp since June. My scalp isn't as itchy and the scales of dandruff (doesn't that sound gross? haha) are now limited to the front portion of my head, near my widows peak, whereas before, I experienced dandruff all over. I've found that when I apply and massage the oil mix into my scalp the day after I wash, my scalp does a lot better during the week. Applying the oil before SD flares up diminishes it during the week.

I've decided to add vitamin E oil to the mix for it's healing properties. Hopefully I can report in a few weeks that my scalp is faring even better.

Edited the post to include how much of what is in the mix:

1 oz of coconut oil
8 drops of lavender oil
8 drops of eucalyptus oil
8 drops of tea tree oil
20 drops of vitamin E oil

With smiles,

- See more at: http://www.justgrowalready.com/2011/08/current-oil-mix.html#sthash.v85zjddx.dpuf

kenapa perlu marah

maafkan sajalah

Ya Allah thank you sungguh sungguh. Alhamdullilah

one of my daily happiest moment

• on my bed, listening to Junior's soft purrs.. so purrfect

• weekends morning, warmly tug under the blanket, cuddle by M and one by one the furries climbed up to the bed and purrs ....super perfect 

i know having children means a lot or to some couple means everything.
i know we dont work as hard pray as hard to do whatever it gets to procreate an offspring

but i always know, Allah AWT always has a better plan for me and M.

i know one day my tears of hopeless will be tears of joy.

if the day never come, i am already happy with what i have been loaned for

A loving husband and diva furries

Thank you ya Allah, for life is now is truly a blessing

Venus vs Mars

alahai
a couple who i consider much as my adik was in heated domestic argument.

so remind me of myself ages ago or still am?!

while the husband thought the wife was upset because he so-called poured his heart out to me about them, the wife was actually upset that the husband didn't tell the whole truth.

the problem is the definition "pouring my heart out" between men and women is not the same.

When man mengadu, it would be; " aku pening la dengan bini aku nih, dia marah dgn si polan and si polan tapi nak kena buat menda x, camna ah?"

when woman mengadu, it would be; " actually macam nih, minggu lepas, si polan tepon si polan, si polan cakap la camni, si polan sekian sekian, si polan gi taman, si polan makan, si polan gi jamban, si polan mandi,  keesokan harinya si polan jadik pondan, *insert the previous day verbs of this polan*,  abis tu si polan bla bla....... until the end of the week,
but u know this polan can always cakap dengan i, kenapa dia tak cakap dgn i , atau cakap dgn laki i,  this is the same thing si polan did to this si polan.. *and it goes for next 30 min (if I am lucky) or 1 hour*. i bengang gila, how could that polan do that and why?"

i sometimes tend to be the wife type of mengadu with selective female friends but with my deary M, my pouring the heart out session would be the husband type.

Why? you asked me? to go on and on with M is an act of wasting time and saliva and we will end up arguing about why si polan jadik pondan rather than how could that polan do that to me.

did i get my steam release with M?

how should i put it very suttly

oh yeah .. wait till when hell freezes over

i always proud of M.
He is kind, caring and helpful

but there are times i get all upset

likewise

there are times i think how far our communion would last

many times

would it be till death do us part or it just a matter of time


but what would it takes to make it fall apart

Another woman?
different sight of future holds?
family values?
principle values?

and the list goes on and on

and again i think back what keep us together and or what make us want to stay together

love?!!

kids?!!

je ne sais pas

could i live without him or could he lives without me?

je ne sais pas

#hindsight