Tuesday, December 22, 2009

No smell is a good smell




Well, not exactly 'body odor' per se, but the lingering odor on our clothing.

I know be an Asian, the cooking odors stick to us like our shadow but atleast why dont we try to put something on odorless to certain occasion.

I mean wont be so unprofessional if we are wearing clothes that smell 'ayam masak merah' to job interview.

Spray some febreeze at least (the spray not the freshner). keep it handy, put it in the coat cabinet or your bagpack or something.

I am not trying to put anyone to shame. I was in that shoe before, the fact that M has ultra-sensitive nose to all foreign odors, made it easier for me to evaluate the unpleasant situation to others and to realize the social implication of it.

And for God sake, dont be defensive and give lame excuses.

It just dont cut it.

story mory




2 days prior to our anniversary, M with his un-challenged skill of annoying me, had me once again for countless time, aggravated.

I completely forgot what about it but enough to make me woman without words for that day. Since he noticed the tension atmosphere, he tried to light up by throwing the Q of "oh! what's date is wednesday?"

Again, I didnt really bother the significant event of that day coz my angin kuskus was fiercely blowing of my temper.

Tersengih2 like kerang busuk,

*hey, isnt it our anniversary?

*shoot! I forgot about it again

**double shoot! I am freaking upset right now

adamantly to show him that I was very upset, *dont know and je ne sais quoi*

I am such a b-yatch whenever I want to whoever I dont care


Poor M but as good as it gets

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Another year, another day


Although there are times i menyampah you so much but nothing melts my heart like your cheeky gatai smile.

I love you and always. Happy Anniversary love. May Allah bless our marriage till hereafter and future tots. Insyaa Allah



another rock kapak jiwang karat version for ya bebeh

Thursday, December 10, 2009

>.<


M told me what's my birthday gift after I was hovering him over it over and over.

Best memang la best

Tapi it's that what I want

Human's greed never satisfy

It's the time of the year


I was in a car, been driving for 1 hr and 15 min, stuck in motionless traffic, smelling burnt smell of car heater, listening to Bon Jovi's bed of roses and hallucinating that I was on the bed of roses while actually it felt like sleeping on the bed of roses' thorns

Snow storm, gusty winds - Bring it on

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Skyjuice please


A day before *ehem* my birthday, M and I invited Captain for a dinner since he's going to leave Ottawa for good soon.

After giving a lot of thoughts that

* he's going back home, and he will see Malaysian foods for a pretty long time
* M was too lazy to clean up the house
* I had yet started any for my french presentation which due the next day
* Captain never been to Red Lobster before

We went and dine outside.

We've been seated and of course, after frequent visits, M and I pretty much know what we want to eat but Captain was a bit taken off with the menu and the price tag.

Not that we expected him to pay.

The waiter asked us for drinks, Ginger ale for M and Iced tea for moi. and when it came to Captain's turn, he ordered *Sky Juice*

*holy smack

there was a 5 seconds pause of *W.H.A.T????!!!!!*

from the waiter and M.

It was one difficult time for me to act cool

notakaki:

Skyjuice - plain water on the rock >.<

Monday, December 7, 2009

Irony



5~6 years ago, during one of our nth walks in downtown, M and I always said to each other
*wouldnt it be nice, if you/I work in downtown*

And today, for the first time I dropped M at work at his downtown's office but both of us sighed
*wouldnt it be great if we're still living in Hull*

Irony isnt it.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

kelahiran

the day i am a one year older

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Mabruk

Kekanda Mr CleanGuy.

You now are no longer a diamond bachelor. After all the dramas, the jokes, the quest for the 'one'

Insyaa Allah lasts till hereafter. If the drama ends.

One to go

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Window painting



Only true blue kolej delima, kolej Perindu would know this


hahahahaah

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Death

this year marks a decade ayah left us.

This year, ayah's sister passed away.

~.~.~.~

One of the calls, mak sighed on who will be around her or taking care of her during her last breathe.

I broke into tears instantly and sobbing heavily over the phone. It felt like something sharp jabbed into my heart when I heard those words.

I was very impulsive because I know if something's bad happen (God forbids), what I have left only a memory. no point of hustle cause I would never ever have all the means to be there before I could see; for the last time.

Mak, nothing in the world means more than you. happy 74th birthday

Kitar semula


During our morning walk this morning, I asked M about 'le bidet', in case he can explain to me further about its functionality. Nevertheless, we end-up talking about ways of H20 recycling, where in Japan, instead of flushing right after biz no1, the water that we use to rinse our hands will be flushed into toilet bowl. I dont know the validity of the story but if it's true, wont it be such a good thing to do.
Then, we talked about green car, how this one canadian converted his 1992 mercs to bio-diesel car-driven and for the past 5 years he only spent freaking $100 on gas. By investing $1K on the setup equipment, he gets his gas supply from local restaurants whose owners are more than happy to donate their used cooking oil to him.

I bet if we run this program backhome, it would be enormous success since we have many of makcik goreng pisang at every corner of taman perumahan.

But who would care, it's not like we are going to live in next 100 years.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dalam hati siapa yg tahu



Weeks back I received a phone call from someone's very dear and she mentioned how she felt about one of the posts.

I am not sure whether I was lying or tried to convince myself that it was totally fine.

I remembered the day when I and the guest both tested; joy to her and I was the opposite.

I kept myself busied as not to think about it.

The clock is ticking, I know.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Those little things




Lately I was a bit agitated towards M's callous remarks of things all around the house.

"Clean the mug right away. dont put it in the sink"
"Knowing you, AC, you will be take yr sweet time and you will be late"
"Close the door, check the door"
"lock the car"


I felt like I am a little kid needs to babysit her every moves. He actually reminded me to study for my exam. Or the time I should get up.

I reciprocate by being him. At least, now he knew how I felt.

baru padan muka kan.

Since I just couldnt take it any longer, I shook his head and said,
" Honey, let go the little things, save it for something bigger "

they just dont worth the fight.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Ahkak tidoq please. else u will be all grumpy tomorrow moring

Monday, November 9, 2009

comei tak i?


wakakaka jangan muntah ya

Ooo Mamma!


It was all last minute but had been talking about it for a while. the family wanted to makan western food in conjunction of chief's birthday. Although we celebrated 3 days before sans M who was away to Montreal to earn some extra dough, it didnt dim the excitement of savoring foods, plenty of food.
I have to say that the objective of this trip is to MANGIA. and oh boy, didnt we!
The sky was still red when we left Ottawa, and with empty stomach too. The chief wanted to save his appetite for the food that we were going to indulge later. but ofcourse, I had half bagel to shut the growling.

Soon after we arrived in TO, we had some light lunch (not for some!!!); mee goreng mamak, char kuey teow, nasi goreng Indonesia, Pad Thai noodles and Black pepper sauce dungeonese Crab. M and the Chief had teh tarik kaw. it was so kaw, I guess M constipated.

we crashed at here of last minute reservation ( I did it right after Jumaat Prayer) after lunch. Madame and I were thinking to exercise before we hit our next course, but, the bed was so irresistible to pass and on TV was The Godfather movie marathon. I was torn in between okay.
But again, we need to stick to our objective. Madame and I found a spot for window shopping, alas i wasnt really ready for it and had to let it pass. And joy, time to eat again, this time we had Italian food; Penne picante rose sauce, i dont know what was M having, Parmesan chicken spag bolognese, steak with blackpeppercorn sauce and spag bolognes for the mija. Although I almost cleaned the plate, I felt like the food was not as good as the first time I tried. M enjoyed his plate, chief said it tasted like carbonara pasta. Actually I was thinking of an ice cream as Baskins Robins just across the parking station but I damn straight know that I would puke the minute of my first lick. And again is all nafsu.


Before we went back to the hotel, we stopped at :)somewhere:) , have a nice chat and drinks and left when the clock almost strike at 1am.
The next day was time to go back and we had another stop of yummilicious sirloin quest.
As the trip was none other than makan and makan and makan. we took our sweet time, woke up when the sun was up high. since Steak house opens at 4pm on Sunday and we had to check out before 12, there was a plenty of time to shop. As this quest also had a sub-objective of scouting the best possible place to spend less moolahs (which I doubt) and get more stuffs, a long list of branded stuff, not so high end but definitely affordable some of certain time. well, if you look at the pic below, out of the things that we bought, only one was actually bought and chose by yours truly whereas others are belong to Mr M. I hope he will actually do something with it rather than buat menyemak kat dapoq.
Our craving quest ended with 7oz (for some 10oz) steak with blackpeppercorn gravy and wild mushroom soup (too sour and salty for my buds). The Chief, indeed, was a happy man.

happy birthday Chief, may Allah rewards you a happy and healthy life.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

hang to it


For the past 7 hours I planned to study, I wasted on Spider solitaire, Restaurant makeover, 1 hr back to back SATC old episode, yakking over the phone, checking friends' blogs and of course blogging.
the fact that my 'enter' keypad completely kaput, no matter, how hard i poked the metal that supposed to be so ultra sensitive to silicon cap, I found a way to hit an enter key.

Brilliant! Another way to waste my freaking limited time for something that heaven I need this so badly.

Of course, studying LSAT is freaking BORRRINGGG. I wonder whether my left brain is still functioning.

It felt like taking microbiology all again. I aced that one, can I ace this one?

I think I need to kick the cats out from the guest room and I need to kick my arse off. be more serious and suck up to whateva mood I am having.
je suis malade and je suis tres fatigue mais il y a beaucoup les choses que je doit faire.
Pourquoi???!!!!

I am so in need of maid. I want the house to be vacuumed everyday and the cats poop in the bowl. ala bang oii, bila nak jadik expat p 3rd world country. boleh i jadik mem.

I wished


I wished I was small and life is simpler

I wished I have a supernatural power that can bring those fudging idiot road bullies down

I wished mak is younger and ayah still alive

I wished I can get this feeling away for good.

I wished I can be the old me

I wished I lost a lot of weight effortless

I wished I wont fall asleep and fit enough to stay up and study like it is tomorrow

I wished I am driving that RX hybrid SUV Lexus

I wished i will bear a child of my womb and the child will be as healthy as a horse.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Orang Kampung Koi


Recently I received, well technically I didnt, but a friend to a friend of mine did. I was invited to their house to meet their friends, Ganchongcouple. Despite what he and she is, they are one of very down to earth peeps I've met. and to my suprise or nothing to be suprised with this a very small world, he was my uncle's classmate.
Meeting them like meeting an old friend. we laughed, we shared stories/experiences, we ate and all the good stuff. I mean, how many times in our lives, we will meet peeps like this and I am blessed to meet them. Hopefully we will meet again.

~.~.~.~

Speaking of another small world incidents, I came to know a young lad from Kulim whom I probably never met him during my years backhome. Not that Kulim is such a big town but he was still in elementary when I left home. Chat and talk and yik yak, the mother was a teacher of the same school as my dad's. I mean, out of all schools in kedah, and the fact that the school that my dad used to teach is out of Kulim's skirt. what a story. I believe his mom would feel relief as heaven knows to know that someone is here. but to my other suprise, my cousin married to his cousin. well, I got all the relative networking thing going on here. M, ofcourse, on the other hand could not really comprehend the big-deal of all these. but that make us Malaysian. we look out for our peeps especially in perantauan.

Monday, October 19, 2009

loss

the fetus was only 2 weeks old.

Friday, October 16, 2009

every weekend I always have something to do.. haiih

Sunday, October 11, 2009

update



haiya sulah bersawang wa punya blog ya know
Not that I dont have anything to write, it just that I have a lot of them but laziness takes its toll on me and M mostly occupied my lappy instead of his. Talking about total demolition of my crappy lappy.
Anyhood, as I less expected, my weekends are mostly filled with invitation to open house and I was extremely exhausted.
M already whined about us of not really spend a day between us at home (by us he meant the purrs). But at least we got new flat TV. Not that it is something HUGE coz I dont care nevertheless. But the fact that we got it SUPER utterly cheap, make the whole deal pretty bizarre. Biasalah i kan orang kampung, ada sikit perak lah kan.

~.~.~

I've been slacking in work searching. I really really HAVE NO IDEA, what's demoralized me, I want moolahs but I just get lazy. went for interview but freaking lazy to follow up. Wanted to do my P.Eng but I actually need a total of 48months of working experience and which by the way I was automatically deducted 12 months due to my ass kicking at school. but the coolest thing about EIT in Canada, I dont have to cramp and squeeze all the juice of my dormant and laggard brain for 8 hours exam in a freaking coldest hall in the world anymore. But I need to sit for ethics and law exams. and I need to WRITE.

Yeah WRITE like writing an essay. and once I am over with it, I will be EIT certified.

Speaking of which, I attended their seminars. M was upset for I didnt seize the opportunity to make a networking. Hon, the seminar was at greenery room at travelodge unlike your seminar at upscale restaurant The Foundation in downtown. the refreshment they served was a stale and hard as rock muffin with cheap coffee. tell me how am I suppose to light up the mood. The food made me a frozen corpse.

The fact that I was the only one unemployed attendee made me the sourest of all sour grapes in the world and I hate the fact that some dudes bla blaing that they've worked for freaking 5 years as an engineer and making $68,000 per year and freaking EIT is on their freaking way to be P.Eng certified...

and lovely Pomonagirl e-mailed me. My soul is wishing hard that miracle would happen.

it's too ealry to give up. never too late to stop.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

hamba dah bangkrap tahap gaban

Monday, September 28, 2009

Diriku sungguh tak keruan

I was in my FB when I saw a pic of a friend who was so lucky to celebrate Eid back home.

In the pic, I saw her and family, sat around in circle, waiting turn to seek forgiveness.

At the minute I saw her pic hugging her mother in the morning of Eid, I broke in tears really badly. The last time I hugged my mother during Eid was in a motel out of nowhere in New Mexico when we were on road trip to Cali.

The very next year, mak was on her own flying to New York to attend my wedding at Vienna. Ever since, I pretty much spent my Eid either alone before rushing back for exams or class presentation, or quietly with M.

In recent years, I have seen some changes or progress of how I normally celebrate Eid in perantauan. Rather than decoying the Malaysian mood by boiling a packet of Maggi, a dear friend invited us to celebrate Eid with them. The fact that she is a very good cook and she made rendang exactly like Mak made (they both come from the same state), Raya is merrier than drenching myself with tears.

Whatever it is, most importantly about Eid is the prayer, for me, at least. Although being away from home has forced me to minimize the suasana. I am blessed and so grateful to Allah for the opportunity to experience another Ramadhan and another Syawal.

Who knows, next year, my Eid will be somewhere else. Insyaa Allah

Sunday, September 20, 2009

sajak

NASIK!!!

awat la hang sedap sangat
makan sepinggan tak cukup
2 pinggan baghu ghasa kenyang sket

aku dah gemuk dok hadap hang
perut aku dah berlipat lipat

nak buat lagu mana
hang sedap sangat
tak pekena 2,3 haghi
boleh gelupoq ataih lantai
pekena tiap2 haghi
aku naik cemuih

tak jumpa lama sket
aku mentekedarah satu periuk

oh NASIK!!

Saturday, September 19, 2009

ramblings

Lisan kadang2 tak terjaga
Janji kadang2 terabai
Hati kadang2 berprasangka
Sikap kadang2 menyakitkan



Should I give a chance?

When a time of me just let things go, they continued to push on the button
When I'm still perky of saying hi and calls, they didnt bother to answer or reply, or worse with answered with a rude cue of "nak apa?"
When I was greeted with a harsh shove of changes instead ofsalam in front of a stranger
When I tried to help what I can when someone they idolized so much screw up their plans, and ending up I was the bad gal who "tak mau tolong" instead of "tak boleh tolong"

As M noticed all the differences and I couldn't hid those anymore. I let him judge coz through all bad and good times, he always be there for me.

Yes, tomorrow is probably Eid. I am far from my mother and family. I am writing with a bad cognition of people whom I thought otherwise.

I hate losing friends but I dont mind throwing out the trash.

What they have done is too hurtful coz I very much know they wont do it to other people.

Selama ni aku buat mende utk kepentingan diri sendiri ke? I think I shall do things like that from now on.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Something to ponder

What the Quran says about Places of Worship Source: Anas Zubedy
http://letusaddvalue.blogspot.com/2009/08/new-bob-agency-what-quran-says-about.html

I grew up accustomed to Chinese drums and Hindu temple bells and the experience made me a Muslim who loves the Quran more than any other book in the world.

Let me tell you why …

I grew up at Fettes Park Penang, Evergreen Road to be exact.

From Fettes Road turning into Evergreen Road, you will need to battle a short slope uphill where we kids would need to paddle standing up while riding our bicycles and where many ladies would jump off to push theirs till the road flattens 10 meters ahead – about 100 meters later you will pass my house, house number 14.

There is an empty space almost triangular in shape where the two roads meet. At the centre of that empty land stood a large tall leafy bee infested tree with red colored nuts sprouting from the branches. On one side of the empty land was a row of shop-houses. On its corner lot wall the words NEW BOB AGENCY in red bold capital letters greeted the Fettes Park community for many years. So we call that little corner piece of land - Bob Agency. Across the road to Bob Agency stood two temples; one Chinese and the other a Hindu one.

Bob Agency for the better part of the year was left empty but the piece of land comes alive twice a year when the Chinese temple organize Chinese Operas ( Teng Lang Kho Tai) especially during the Hungry Ghost Festivals. Usually the first two days it would be the Chinese Opera (we use to call it Tong Tong Tong Cheng! Show) and followed by a second two days of modern bands belting the latest Chinese numbers and some popular western songs (I love it when the emcee announced something like “ Andy Gibb chang terk, Shallow Lancing!” ).

Each year the temple committee, both Hindu and Chinese will go house to house to request donation either for the upkeep, repair and temple improvement or for projects like the Hungry Ghost festivals or Thaipusam. Each time my Mom will ask me to tell them politely that as Muslims we cannot donate to a ‘To Kong’. (Besides, we actually did not have any extra cash anyway! Ha!ha!)

They too were polite and understanding and just moved away wishing me thank you regardless. I did not question my mom’s reasoning as I took it as true; not until 1977 when the Penang State Government was building the Penang State Mosque. I was 13.

It was announced that Loh Boon Siew the big Tau Keh of Penang donated RM 1 Million to the building of the state mosque. But wait a minute. We cannot give but we can take? That does not sound right and downright unfair. My mom had no answers so; I had to bring it up during agama class in school. After all, it will not be the first time I was asked to leave the class anyway- so what’s another period of wondering around the school (my eldest sister was not allowed to be in agama class at all during certain years in her school life !!!).

Honestly, I was not a bad boy. In fact I won the agama prize for being top in school twice. But I had questions that needed real solid answers. And, I do not give up easily!

Poor Ustazah. I asked her if I could donate to temples and her answer was a firm ‘No’. We can’t give but we can accept? I told her that my religion sounds unfair and I cannot accept her answer as my Grand Dad told me Islam is the most just religion in the world.

I refused to accept the answer and kept on harping on the RM 1 million from Loh Boon Siew. Finally she relented and said that if we were to give any donations to the ‘To Kong’, we must ‘niat’ that it is money we ‘ buang ke dalam sungai’. I told her ‘Ustazah dah merepet’.

She was by then in tears and it did not help that my classmates were cheering with drum beats – thumping the table top. She rushed out of the class and the rank cheered, the class went into the usual rumpus of school boys without supervision… but it did not last for long.

She returned with Ustaz Mahayudin, whom we were all scared shit of! And he was not alone; he brought his friend a handsomely meter long rotan. He banged the rotan on the teacher’s table a few times, we were dead silent. He uttered a few words of warning, and left. (Actually Ustaz Mahayudin was a kind and nice man, in fact I have never seen him use the rotan on anyone. I had good conversations with him, and he allowed differing opinions although he was worried of my constant questioning of the status quo. He treated Non-Muslims kindly too, and, always with respect).

I did not get my answer until my university days when I took to reading the Quran and Muslim history for myself. I discovered that the Quran suggested,

'WOE UNTO THOSE who give short measure: those who, when they are to receive their due from [other] people, demand that it be given in full, but when they have to measure or weigh whatever they owe to others, give less than what is due! Do they not know that they are bound to be raised from the dead? [and called to account] on an awesome Day (Quran 83: 1-5)

I also discovered that early Muslim leaders created a peaceful environment so that people from the various faiths can practice their way of life. In fact state money was used to build, repair and support the building of not just the mosque but also Non- Muslim places of worship. The Muslim army has a duty to defend all places of worship as the Quran commands,

(They are) those who have been expelled from their homes in defiance of right,- (for no cause) except that they say, "our Lord is God.. Did not God check one set of people by means of another, there would surely have been pulled down monasteries, churches, synagogues, and mosques, in which the name of God is commemorated in abundant measure. God will certainly aid those who aid his (cause);- for verily God is full of Strength, Exalted in Might, (able to enforce His Will).( Quran 22:40)

Back in the mid 90s I decided to buy a condo unit at Sunway area. Beside the wonderful square swimming pool, the other attractions were a Hindu and Chinese temple right in front of the guard house and a mosque just behind the corner. In the morning you can hear the azan, the temple bells and every now and then I get to smell Chinese incense bringing me back memories of growing up in Fettes Park and Bob Agency. The only missing link was a church :(

Each morning, each evening, each nite – each day that condo where I stayed for a good many years reminds me of another Quranic announcement. It is as though the Quran spoke to me directly,

To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what God hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way? If God had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to God. it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute (Quran 5:48)

Thank You Bob Agency, Thank You Evergreen Road, Thank You Fettes Park, Thank You Penang, Thank You Malaysia!

Thank you for helping see the world the way God wanted me to see it.

Thank You God.

Friday, September 11, 2009

US robber returns to ask victim on a date

A US robber who went back to the scene of the crime to ask his victim out on a date was arrested after the woman chatted with him while her cousin called police.

Diana Martinez was parked in front of her Columbus, Ohio, apartment when three men pointed a gun at her head and stole her purse and her friend's wallet, local media report.

Martinez screamed and hit one of the men with her car door. They fled when a nearby neighbor threatened them.

But less than an hour later, Martinez spotted one of the men leaning against a banister overlooking the parking lot.

"He asked if I had a boyfriend," Diana Martinez told 10TV News.

Then he asked her out.

"We are not exactly sure what he was thinking at the time," said Columbus police Sgt. Sean Laird.

Stephfon Bennett, 20, was charged with aggravated robbery, the station reported. The other two men remain at large. Love makes you do crazy things

Saturday, August 29, 2009



there's nothing more I want than to be with mak on eid

Rindu hati ini inginku kembali
Pada ayah bonda dan saudara...
Restu ayah bonda kuharap selalu
Demi anakmu yang kini jauh
why

Friday, August 28, 2009

Merits ..not



Well, i was working hard to convince people to see me passed through all the qualifications I have.

It just papers ... people

Cant u judge me according to how hardworking person I am.

Those grades are not that easy to achieve

try to look on that's prespective

~ ~ ~

moons back, we invited someone new to town to comeover to our house. Least to my knowledge, he's someone important in someplace.

Like I care

M hinted him on why dont I apply for the job of that someplace (apparently that someplace is work-in-progress). M's mobility should be no issue if we moved somewhere remote.

Hell yeah, now I do care.

I didnt invite him for networking nor for looking advantage of gimme-job plezz. I am just looking for a platonic friendship.

nevertheless, I thought by playing deaf to all the annoying hints from M, he will just drop it and forget about it. However, Mr someone started to share his interviewing experiences with high flyers cum laude 1st class honors graduates.

Tell you, nothing nice about it ok.

For him these geeks only belong to academia cocoon and only fit to be a teacher or professor. Nothing where else, those brains are no good for industry. they just cant performed with their hands. they are theoretical, aint practical.

Crossed his seat, there was me, bit my tongue, I swear I tasted blood.

episodes

pindah ke rumah satu lagi

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Doa

tomorrow will be one of my important days of the year.

Ya Allah , murahkan rezeki hambaMu ini

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Wasting my time


Am I?

M said I am

but hold..

about what??!!

he said I didnt learn from my lesson

KeIkhlasan does not exist in this society anymore?!

Why should I have doubt if the only reward I wanted is from Him.

afterall those schmucks have gone and the leftovers..

I dont care about the leftovers

dah otai lagipun kan

Tuang


only trueblue kedahan knows what's the word mean.


Been slacked on my French class. and the facilitator is being hardarse.


at least he said " tu es bon etudiante"


But I need M to translate most of the voicemail.


the phone rang but I was too busy scrubing the tub. And the shower curtain is gross.


it used to be M's chores to keep the washroom sparkling clean but he has new task of keeping other toilet sans faeces.


~ ~ ~ ~


and Saturday will be the 1st day of Ramadhan Al Kareem.


I know Malaysia is scorching hot but it doesnt deter my longing to celebrate the holy month with bonda..


oh well, denial denial.. weather deters me alot. the sun and humid has pushed me as far as I can go north.


33 deg in Ottawa run me down like old dehydrated dying woman.


haih.. I need to go back. I want to go back.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

bits from tanahair terchenta

Singapore-based Malaysian model accepts punishment for drinking beer
A Muslim model sentenced to six strokes of the cane for drinking beer will be the first woman in Malaysia to be caned under Islamic law, her lawyer said Wednesday.
Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, 32, was sentenced to a caning and a fine of 5,000 ringgit (1,414 dollars) last month after she pleaded guilty to drinking alcohol at a hotel nightclub in the eastern state of Pahang last year.
The Malaysian mother of two, who lives in Singapore, told AFP that she was willing to receive the punishment after the Sharia High Court in Pahang on Tuesday issued a warrant for her arrest.
"I received a message from my dad yesterday. So I come back to Perak (from Singapore)," she said.
"I accept the punishment. I am not afraid because because I was ready to be punished from day one. They (authorities) hope to use my case as a way to educate the Muslims. So go ahead. I want to move on with my life.
"I am not worried at all nor do I want to avoid the punishment because I accept the punishment," she added. Kartika's lawyer, Mohamad Zuki Che Muhamad Ghani, said his client would be jailed on August 24 for one week before the caning.
"The warrant of arrest was issued to facilitate the caning," he told AFP.
"She has to be jailed first and undergo health check-up to determine whether she is fit to be caned. She will be the first woman in the country to be caned under the religious laws," Mohamad added.
Kartika's father, Shukarno Mutalib, told AFP that the family accepted the court's decision.
"We are not feeling sad. We are Muslims and I agree she has to be caned. She has already pleaded guilty. We will follow the rules," Shukarno said.
Mohamad said Kartika had lived in Singapore for 15 years after marrying a citizen of the city state.
Malaysia, which has large Chinese and Indian minorities, has a dual-tracked legal system. Sharia courts can try Muslims for religious offences.

Does she repent on her wrong doing? I dont think so.

dunia oh dunia.. betapa kau hanyalah sementara

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Holly jolly day




This is my first time going for a trip with M's friends. But again, I had to do all the administrative works. Well, If I let M do all the things, and with his taste, we'll spending lot more than we should.




All and all, the trip wasnt that bad although the mija puked like every 5km and made the ride on GMC Acadia (my first time on large SUV too) a bit distasteful. but kid always be kid.




Indeed, my french improved at least 50%. as I told M earlier, the spouse of his friend would practice her English with me and due to my limited vocabulary, I'd slipped a word or two in bahasa melayu.




My right brain was working extra hard last weekend switching from one language to another. Much better comparing to M switching 5 languages altogether.




Anyway, I think M and I are physically ready for little monkeys, but I have to admit to go places that has a lot of them, a tortured hell for a tormented soul.




Monday, August 10, 2009

A short one



Not that I completely ignore this blog


but plenty of things need to be done


and the negligences of my new project, enough to put off the flame of my friend's enthusiasms.



But I am currently doing something by far most important although it is almost a year late.


and one thing I found out, good deed is totally an addiction. Aint for the praise nor the fame. A simple thanks is like beacon shining bright my darkness night.


M undeniably lost in understanding me. poor soul.






Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Bidaah



Few days ago marked one of the nights in Islamic calendar as a Nisfu Sha'baan.


Years ago when I was in kampung terchenta, mak, sistas and I will dutifully make a circle and recite Yaseen 3 times after maghrib prayer.


After I got married, the practise still continue sans the female relatives for the 1st 3 years and it has been in hiatus ever since.


Determine to rekindle the annual routine, I impatiently waited for Nisfu Shabaan to come. On the nite that I supposed to recite Yaseen 3times, I researched for the particular doas that accompany each recitation.


Nevertheless, what I found is otherwise.


But I love remembring the memories of my sisters and mom sat together and recite Yaseen.


Finally, I settled by only 1 recitation and promised to make it everynite for this month.


why I made a promise I cannot keep

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Belated



Almost a month late but that's what he wants


no prezzie

no cake

no celebration


I didnt buy anything..yet


Been saving for new project.

Bonne fete mon cheri. Je t'aime toujours

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dinner is Disaster

Haih!

Dah la lapaq, dinner hampeh ya Rabbi.

Cooking dried beans is very daunting task. I saw M cooked once, well he claimed that dried beans taste much better than in the can but he forgetting that the only dried beans I know how to cook is green beans.

My original menu for tonite is White beans with spinach, Pistou soup, berries salad and ayam percik.

At the end of the day, half of the menu were thrown into the garbage.

I swear to God, no more dried beans. they come in cans for reason.

Aku lapaq oii

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Saya Anak Malaysia


When a friend told me about someone who prefers to befriend with non-malay or non-malaysian, I got amused.

I was in that situation before but the other way round. Most my Malaysian friends prefer not to befriend with me.

Nevertheless, I still managed to acquaint myself with few of my fella countrymen with counting fingers.

However, by having said that, one of typical org mesia yg suka bersangka nangka thought that my life back then was depressed due to lack of my Malaysian chums.

Nevertheless, I've met the locals

who I can guarantee friends for life
who would stand by me when I need a support
who help me unconditionally without having to bring it up when the lows come in
who would fiercely defend me when someone ill-mouthed me with or without my presence
who would not bail me out in any leisure plans
who doesnt think of me only when they susah
who would never ever treat me or even make me feel like a dirtbag

Depressed la sangatkan.

We do bitching, feuding to each other but no heart taken. Sooo UNLIKE my fellow countrymen..or at least to this org mesia yg suka bersangka nangka...who is sensitip hazab.

Least I thought that they never really think of me as their friend. but time has prevailed. and terima kasih.

I am only a friend when they in need.

What is so depressing for not having friends like this? Just because they are my countrymen so they are entitled the bestest friend on earth.

But I guess they havent learn adat merantau, berdagang di tempat orang.

Selfish as they are, I dont think so they care.

Sayoq challenge



Last weekend I followed the royal entourage of Sultan M shoppinggggg!!!!!

The old pants and jeans are no longer capable to serve their services when the sultan's physique has grown exponentially west and east with belly as round as moon.

And for that, for the 1st time, he made me standing infront of Men's changing room.

And for that too, he's very determined to go under carb-free diet regime.

And for that again, he puts on his jogging gear 5am everyday to run.

Not that I am complaining.

Tapi mental wa cakap lu

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Today's Words for Soul

Usah gelisah apabila dibenci manusia kerana masih banyak yang menyayangimu di dunia, tapi gelisahlah apabila dibenci Allah kerana tiada lagi yang mengasihmu di akhirat kelak.

Let's Go Green

New Incentives for Electric Cars in Canada
Looking to put some spark in the green car market, Ontario today announced that it would be offering consumers subsidies of 4,000 to 10,000 Canadian dollars ($3,600 to $8,900) against the purchase of plug-in hybrid or battery electric vehicles, starting next July.



read here

Although I am not a hard-core environmentalist as much as I would like to, I truly support anything that can spare our earth some extra time for my future offsprings to enjoy the existence flora and fauna.

Which means

-> turn off the lights when it's not needed
-> turn the tap off while brushing my teeth
-> recycle every plastics and papers I could find in the house
-> use recycle bags for groceries

and the list goes on

Despite the pros of nuclear energy, I totally oppose to this particular source of energy.

Havent we had plenty of sun, winds and cold?! .. hey, it's energy too. thermodynamically.

Unless someone had actually created the antimatter

Whatever it is, Prius bebeh here I come

G niaga deh


Finally, after skipped my french class last night doing something less fruitful. well, I did something I was meaning to do for a very long time and envying people who can do it.

WEBPAGE bebeh!!!

M gave me a short tutorial on how to change words bla bla bla the boring stuffs, and I was anxiously to play around with the new thang.

I know I am so way behind. but I aint a computer geek. I loathe computer and for me it is a machine that takes too much of my time when there are mountain of chores that need BADLY to be done.

Well, for a trial, I made a webpage for my sista. It's not complete and I dont register a domain for her yet.

Money is pretty much sensitive issue right now. Hitam went to ER second time and cost us another hundreds. A friend advised me to get pet insurance and when we look at the premium and the FINE ( u basically can't allow yr cats to get sick in order to keep the premium low - bodoh nak mampuskan)alahaiiii.. let assume that we can totally forget about it. Rather than I go and pay them that much every month, might as well I save it for them and put it in the interest saving acct.

takpa ka kalau kita guna duit riba utk ubat sakit kucing?

Just a thought lah. bukan aku buat pun. duit pun tadak, bank nak bg interest pun tak sampai 1 penny.

C'est la vie eh!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ala bucuk bucuk hitam sayang



Last monday morning, before I sent M to the office, he came to me and said that Hitam is limbing.

Pasaipa pulak dah??!!

Turned out he was in fight with stray cat and got bitten real bad both arms. Padan mukalah kan

Anyway, we didnt know that forsure and M worried that the injured might be worse than it seems aka fracture. We decided to wait, at least, after M returned from the office.

Well, the swelling didnt subside and I can see through Hitam's eyes that he was really indeed in pain.

M and I rushed to animal hospital ER. we were there from 6pm until 10pm. exhausted and hungry.

Aware of that this was an emergency, it will definitely cost us a lot of moolahs.

True enough, that night alone for si hitam manis - $475 gone in a breeze.

haih!!

there's goes my ATV riding

Monday, July 6, 2009

to all moms

shopping


I havent done much but in conjunction of World Mother's day (as i've been told), I celebrated the day spreeing with the mommies. Not like what how I want to enjoy it but with M went out for a 'date' with ol' friend who happened to come to Ottawa in a jiff stop, I've got nothing to lose. Well, M gone to Montreal today, and always coincidently I have a doctor's appointment and tons of must-do things. well another 1 hr 3 min to my appointment. I hate to know the result but it's good to know it what it is now than when it's too late. but I really really hope that whatever the outcome, it will still allow me to maintain the current lifestyle i live in. Insyaa Allah.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hijab

In a part of the Muslim world where women are often perceived of as the repressed gender....

Haih!

As long as it gets to do with Islam, Muslim, our women are always perceived as very weak, oppressed, degraded by our religion.

Cant they just STOP generalizing us.

couple of weeks ago, I went to buy a bouquet to a friend who just gave birth. I've been noticing a discount on roses banner at the main road and figured that I could save some bucks before giving a real gift. I didnt notice a church beside it and conveniently that flower boutiques is all about them. I chose and picked but when I was about to pay, a lady at front asked me

* dont you feel hot with that thing covers your head *
* Nooo! I get used to it already *

right after she slide my CC

* Oh I pity you guys *

aku rasa darah dah naik ke kepala dah masa ni but still contained myself

* Well, there's nothing to be pity. I do it for my God anyway *

I wished I had a better answer

like

* Oh what do you think about the nuns? you must pity them too I suppose *

or

* Do you believe in what you believe in now? If you do, how do you feel if I say I pity you in what you believe in? *

I tried to be positive coz she didnt yell. She said it in a nice way. It could be that she was actually expressing a genuine concern or expressing her ignorance.

It was like a highschool friend who is buddhist secretly gave me a candy during ramadhan thinking that if nobody sees me, so I can eat.

And more alike stories when I was in LA.

I gave the florist benefit of the doubt. And if I encountered to her again, I am all prepared. Insyaa Allah

Monday, June 22, 2009

kudaku gagah berlari

Since my contract as a vankeeper will end up soon, I am scouting for a potential and reliable new car.

The good side of recession and the collapse of Automotive giants, for consumers at least, every survived-brand car companies/dealers are trying to outdo each other by offering potential clients 0% financing.

nevertheless, I dont fall for any brands. With M, things are pretty restricted too. He loves anything with German technology while I want nothing but SUV.

And yesterday, my prayer was sort of answered. Volkswagen offer 0% financing deal.

Sweeeettttttttttt!!!

After subuh prayer, I surfed their website for a model that I very much desired, Lo and behold, the price for a car that we both can compromise is FREAKING FREAKING expensive.

In that morning breeze, I cringed and sweat.

Sayonara Touareg. I simply can't afford you.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

suatu waktu dahulu



Credit to an old friend who took his time uploading all the nostalgic pics of our old days.

those days was hell one of momentos in my life.

A benchmark of my youth.

A sincere friendship.

A grateful and faithful friends.

My brothers and sisters.

Those things are no longer exist.

Dragon Boat race 2009


Since aku ni tak ada keja kan & aku suka kan aktiviti2 yg mengeluarkan keringat ayaq peluhkan. so aku joinlah.

Actually this is the 1st time for Malaysian HC to participate in such event. the name of our team is soooolah macam nak pergi menari : Malaysia, Truly Asia.

There were 192 teams but I guess 12 teams pulled out and as amateur team, we didnt finish last but of course still in nombor yang corot.

Enough said, coordination out, there were too many Chiefs and suasana more like pasar malam. Apparently, we Malaysian love to talk.

instead of gochoh with other teams, we gochoh among team members.

Voice 1 - *left side paddle*
Voice 2 - *dua dua side paddle la, I can steer the direction*
Voice 3 - *woii! jangan paddle , dia suruh berenti tu, kita dah nak start dah*
Voice 4 - *shuh, diam la korang*

all at the same time.

well, I just followed a nice young lady infront of me.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

wasted



I flabbergasted. Numb with people's hypocrisy.

I thought the test is done but the biggest one has yet to come.

But coming from them.

So so unbelievable.

Alhamdullilah either way.

Ya Allah, lindungilah diriku dan ahli keluargaku dr fitnah syaitan dan juga fitnah manusia. Amin

Thursday, June 18, 2009

C.O.A.C.H


*gambar diatas hanyalah hiasan semata-mata*

Due to certain occasional event of special person, M and I decided to get something that special person would appreciate.

Therefore, last saturday, M and I hopped from one store to another.

We were thinking about something from the abovementioned brand and I literally warned M beforehand that entering such boutiquue require some dress code in order to be served accordingly.

but of course, my pauper aura was too overwhelming. How bad we try to dress up, we end up dress down.

And it was my FIRST time to enter such boutique too.

dont bother to bet, we both looked like kera masuk kampung.

and our eyes almost popped out of the socket as we saw the price tag.

Aduhaiii

Tell you the truth, I didnt know what makes me demoralized to eventually own one, the boring design or the palatial price

res ipsa loquitur


there are series of events that I still contemplating to share with bloggers whoever might read

but you know, some of them are better off written on the sand. coz I am very forgiving person and when things turned out OK, I know that i am truly glad not to ever mention about it

no wonder ustaz used to say mengadu kepada Allah AWT

Indeed, Alhamdullilah to apa org buat kat aku.

*****

It brings me to the previous khutbah jumaat. The Iman told a story of a guy who performed nothing but the basic but goes to jannah. And what he did was letting go the grudge before he goes to bed.

I am no angel nor a good pious muslim. Maybe for some my demeanors are too dramatic, hence an excuse for whatever. Maybe I should act like them; put a smiley face and puji melambung but silently make a coup in personam.

too bad, I dont stoop that low

Friday, June 12, 2009

yep


for the past 2 weeks, I've been doing things that quite pretty physically challenge. To some - maybe not. but to my increasingly size body - well, enough said, i actually felt some inner muscle resistance.
So, life is pretty busy. My french class, somewhat ok but NOT great which though I really hope that ONE day I would be able to speak well or at least like my 'just OK' english.

Cant wait for my next dirt hi ho ATV riding.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

brats


Although M and I are umpama langit dan bumi, we both at last have a common ground on on how to raise kids.

Of course, all these came out from an instant diskusi of certain event that is not worth to be mentioned in the blog.

Ever since my elective course of Child development where 95% of my classmates (including the prof, I guess) thought that I was the meanest biological mother whom child will be eternally mentally tortured, I was so disturbed with the way the westerners raising their kids. unfortunately, our presumably high class society, would more than love to adapt the western kid raising in their very oriental family. Nothing's wrong if the right and good ones are taken but since the role model is very much straight out from the TV or MTV, the values that we expect to see is for crying out loud, can drive me berserk.

but of course, not all the western values are completely BAD. We do encouraged our future children (Insyaa Allah) to discuss with us of some frictions (which definitely will be) in a polite way rather than shouting and gives hand to the parents.

Having said all that, I talked back to my parents when I was small and I loathe every minute of it. M on the other hand, didnt talk at all, very docile snd submissive. and both of our fathers are insanely fierce.

And we think that our kids have to come in the middle.

Dont most the parents always wanted their children to be raised differently than theirs and they end up screwing their kids even more.

God speed

Monday, June 1, 2009

blob

Although I sufficiently have technical background to qualify myself to a self-proclaimed geek who fancy nothing but the latest hi-tech gadgets, I, for them, are the OTHERS.

When I want to get something, the features that I usually look for are based on its objective.

IE: A cellphone for people to call me and I to call people in a remote area where public phone is nowhere to be found (provided there is coverage) OR to my convenience to call people. Nothing but only that. I dont even actually need a text messaging.

therefore, a modest cellphone will be just fine. In my case, Iphone is like owning a ferrari while what I need is just a honda kapcai.

However, last weekend, M and I went to futureshop and Bestbuy to.. to wander. And of course, we dropped at Ipod aisle and I saw this Ipod Touch.

Blurdy hell, that things is freaking kewl ok. And I think that was the 1st time my heart jumping "NAK! NAK!". well, like i'll gettit.

then, I looked at the price.... the IPOD made my EYE POP.

sigh, friends all around me seems to have one. I must be friend with rich peeps.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Value Village 50% off sale

what's that make me? a very happy almost mid-30 woman who thinks money is scarce and a dime is like 100 bucks. The last time I went to VV was eons ago. I seldom go there coz 1) M doesnt like me to go there, 2) M doesnt like me to buy things over there and 3) reason no 1 and no 2. But, pauper lives as pauper makes, and VV is a shopping haven for pauper comme moi. when I got there, there was sea of people and I was so confident that I will only get out from there with a pair of jeans that I will not regret to throw it later when I achieve certain goal (which I dont know when it's going to happen) of my ideal weight. But I stopped at book aisle and found all the disneys' hard cover fairy tales stories sold only for $0.50 each and on top of that, u'll get 1 free for every 5 purchases. I endup with 27 books for almost $19, 2 skirts, 2 pants, 1 jeans and a track bottom for only $30 (brand adidas, GAP, Columbia sports). and I got Dan brown's both books, Angel and demons and The da vinci code. both for a price of $3. SSSSSSSWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!

NKOTB

last nite at MMM, there was an hour slot all about New Kids On the Block. I was laughing my arse off seeing all the punctured jumper, tiny ponytail, baggy jeans.. the buttons, the tape cassette.. the walkman - which was so cool back then if people caught u carrying one. but now, donnie wahlberg dah botak ok. and jon's kids are sooooooooo super duper cute and he become a real-estate agent after they split up. there was a clip of one of their first performance on one of this berkilat high school stage (somewhere in dorchester which is one of the poorest district in boston), and you can see all these berkilat kids do breakdance and rap along with them. haiyo, pecah peruk aku gelak. but, nothing beats the joy of lipsynced the ol' songs, and the steps that my friends and I used to practice at school. agh, the ol times. they've gone and never come back

Monday, May 25, 2009

life is too short to stay mad

Sunday, May 24, 2009

eid adha experience

hmm ter-rajinlah pulak.

It was sunny but cold. I went to masjid that predominantly by francophone, as a matter of fact the khutbah was also in french and left me with the most bored yawn ever. anyway, towards the end of prayer, a guy made an announcement, with a little understanding of langue d'amour, I managed to grasp that there will be a conversion event.

on that eid adha's morning, umat Islam increased the population by 1. and first time for me to witness to most meaningful experience in one's life. to witness, a person who sin is completely null and if she died by that second, insyaa Allah, jannah is where she will be. I was so touched, I mean, a person made a big sacrifice to leave her belief to be a muslim and yet a born muslim, struggle to disassociate themselves as one.

And we blame others for being prejudice towards us. It's not easy, yes I have to admit. the look, the stare, the sneer. but what's different it makes between them and us.
series, aku jeles tahap gaban tgk org kurus kedeking melahap macam orang obese. sakit hati okay. they can enjoy the food without have to worry their waist.

I saw my perut last nite on the mirror. It was so disgusting. lagi aku exercise, lagi aku gemuk. apa kes!!!????? please badan oiii, help me to love you

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

fill the gap


I've been spending beyond my means recently. the KSU hi-tea is cancelled due to swine flu and Canadian contigent had to bit adieu to MWG as well. sheer dissapointment i believe but maybe for the best. afterall, when mengenangkan sakit yg membawa maut, you only live once. So why risk it. My french class doesnt get any better if I must say. Partly my fault for not doing much after class. Zero listening, speaking or reading. good enough to maintain my deficiency in french. M is BUSYYYYYYYYYYYYY mauling his head on the wall writing a thesis, computer crash and sleepness nites works gone with it. painful indeed. been there, done that. the insanity hormone filled every molecule of the blood system in the brain. Good excuse for a celebration when the misery is over.

l'eau vive bateau

one word - AWESOME

Monday, May 18, 2009

yes aku mula membenci

Thursday, May 14, 2009

There's always another mountain

I am not really Miley cyrus fan but the first time I heard this song at country music awards (WHAT?!!), I found that the song is very inspiring. at least to the emotional state I am right now. I dedicated this song not just for me but to a dear sis, who I guess needs all the lucks in the world to break all the odds against her.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

karipap oh karipap 2

Actually, I have to admit that I pretty excited to make my 1st order. Called sis #1 and she was happy too. I remembered when I was in States while back, and she was there too and she came out with this idea of us selling sate at the mosque after jumaah prayer. The problem with me, I am vey bad with numbers, keja nak bg free aja. but of course, it didnt and never happenned, with me in West coast and she's in East Coast. So, when I told her about the order thingy (macam ye ye ajakan), she suggested, why dont I take a teaching job, and make frozen karipap as my part time and design a karipap machine. I loathe the 1st idea, agreeable with the 2nd one and cheers to the latter. M said make it manual while I am thinking automatic. maybe the most challenging part is to work on the kelim as I dont like the existence karipap mould. but as my design prof used to say, "dont invent the wheel." I cant wait to do the analysis part, I can feel the adrenaline rush.

karipap oh karipap


A friend of mine has been nagging me on frozen karipap and murtabak for the past 2 weeks. And I did my 1st ordered frozen karipap last nite. But the problem is M thinks I underpriced them. Hello! does he expect me to charge per hour engineer rate? if I did that, my frozen karipap better be the best damn ever. Please dont tell me that I need to charge $120 (that's a labor cost alone) for 50 pieces small karipap. Bila aku cakap macam ni, dia tantrum plak. pehal ko labu?!! Anyway, ~kena delete, sebab terover poyo~ ahaks apa ko sibuk nyah. suka haku lah, blog haku

Saturday, May 9, 2009

twilight mode

I just completed Twilight from Stephanie Meyers. The book must be good or entertaining enough to make me stick to it from after jumaat prayer until midnite. Oklah buku budak2. So far, no author can make me continously sit down and read for hours except for Sidney Sheldon. The reading was easier, thanks to the movie (which I havent watch it yet, though I tend to), I can easily picture Edward Cullen and Bella Swan. I can see why there are many tween and teenagers so helplessly in love with this vamp lad character, who wouldnt. As my age as old three hundred sixty four year old Dr Carlisle Cullen, I dont really see myself scraping and cutting thru magazine pages of William Patterson or Kristen Stewart (if I got their names correct). As a person who actually live in a colder weather place, I dont really appreciate if M's hands are cold as ice. NOTHING romantic in it ok. that's the last thing you want from your spouse. I wonder if we malaysianized the story, to have a pocong as a bf. yikes.. anyway, 4 books to go.

Young blood

where action lies on the heart not on the akal. Where actions can smear consequences on the long run. But again, siapalah aku nak menegur.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

tales of the week

At the moment, I am searching for this VC by Train. I noticed that my earbuds somehow mellowed to more layan blues genre. and seperti biasak, the song falls in melancholic,loneliness and heart-broken mood. Probably that's the mood I am in right now.



Well, new York and Ottawa, they both have snow or as a matter of fact, Ottawa has more and probably whitier. But the sbows are no longer in the ground and it is a sign for a bulb to bloom. To Ottawa spring staple - the tulips festive

Years of living in this place, never once set my foot on the festival.

Aku teringin okay, tp laki malas nak bersesak2 dgn lautan manusia

And the intrigues fade as time goes by

I am more intrigued to listen to Kak Ja's story of how the groundhog stole her first Tulip bulb.

Am I Ottawa-nized? I hope not because Kelang Lama masih teguh berdiri di
hatiku


2er ceriti
~~~~~~~~~~


Am not! the doc predicted an early pregnancy loss. How can there be a lost when there was none.

Am I sad? Actually, I am pretty much blur. Mixed feeling??!! Not really. Excited?! a bit coz I dont have to worry about the berakit plan.

I have to admit that I scared. Scared of today's reality in raising a child with 5 fluffies in tow, JOBLESS, unachieved dreams. Am I ready to let GO my NOW me?

to my dearest old buddies





the original VC needed a request but the song so reminds me of our last meeting after a very long long time

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Usah buka aib sesama Muslim - Bersama Mohd Zawawi Yusoh

Kelak Allah tutup aibnya di akhirat

DALAM satu hadis Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda, maksudnya: "Sesiapa yang menutup keaiban saudaranya sesama Muslim, kelak Alah akan tutup aibnya di akhirat."

Cuba kita sama-sama teliti satu kisah di zaman Nabi Musa a.s. Pada suatu ketika Bani Israel ditimpa musim kemarau yang berpanjangan. Mereka berkumpul dan datang menemui nabi.

Mereka berkata: "Ya Kaliimallah! Berdoalah kepada Tuhanmu agar Dia menurunkan hujan kepada kami."

Berangkatlah Nabi Musa bersama kaumnya menuju ke padang pasir yang luas. Dengan jumlah yang ramai itu mereka berdoa dalam keadaan lusuh dan penuh debu, haus serta lapar.

Nabi Musa berdoa: "Ilaahi! Asqinaa ghaitsak...wansyur 'alaina rahmatak..."

Selepas itu langit tetap saja terang benderang, matahari pun bersinar makin berkilauan. Maknanya segumpal awan pun tidak muncul jua.
Kemudian Nabi Musa berdoa lagi: "Ilaahi...asqinaa. .."

Allah pun berfirman kepada Nabi Musa, maksudnya: "Bagaimana Aku akan menurunkan hujan kepada kalian sedangkan di antara kalian ada seorang hamba di kalangan yang hadir berdoa bermaksiat sejak 40 tahun lalu. Umumkanlah di hadapan manusia agar dia berdiri di hadapan kalian semua. Kerana dialah Aku tidak menurunkan hujan untuk kalian..."

Lalu Nabi Musa pun berteriak di tengah-tengah kaumnya: "Wahai hamba yang bermaksiat kepada Allah sejak 40 tahun...keluarlah ke hadapan kami...kerana engkaulah hujan tidak turun..."

Seorang lelaki melirik ke kanan dan kiri. Tidak seorang pun yang keluar di hadapan manusia. Saat itu pula dia sedar kalau dirinyalah yang dimaksud.

Dia berkata dalam hatinya: "Kalau aku keluar ke hadapan manusia, maka akan terbuka rahasiaku. Kalau aku tidak berterus terang, maka hujan pun tidak akan turun."

Hatinya pun gundah gulana. Air matanya pun menetes, menyesali perbuatan maksiatnya, sambil berkata di dalam hati: "Ya Allah! Aku sudah bermaksiat kepada-Mu selama 40 tahun. Selama itu pula Engkau menutupi aibku. Sungguh sekarang aku bertaubat kepada-Mu, maka terimalah taubatku."

Tidak lama selepas pengakuan taubatnya itu, awan-awan tebal pun muncul. Semakin lama semakin tebal menghitam dan akhirnya turunlah hujan.

Nabi Musa kehairanan. "Ya Allah, Engkau sudah turunkan hujan kepada kami, namun tidak seorang pun yang keluar di hadapan manusia."

Allah berfirman, maksudnya: "Aku menurunkan hujan kepada kalian oleh sebab hamba yang kerananya hujan tidak kunjung turun."

Nabi Musa berkata: "Ya Allah! Tunjukkan padaku hamba yang taat itu."

Allah berfirman, maksudnya: "Ya Musa, Aku tidak membuka aibnya padahal dia bermaksiat kepada-Ku. Apakah Aku membuka aibnya sedangkan dia taat kepada-Ku!"

Semoga cerita ini menjadikan kita hamba yang tidak menghina dan mengaibkan kesalahan yang dilakukan seseorang.

Bukan itu sahaja, kita juga dilarang mendedahkan keaiban sendiri. Tetapi hal ini sering terjadi dalam dunia yang hangat dengan kejungkilan kisah dosa peribadi, kadang-kadang menjadi pelaris dan menghangatkan lagi buku dan siaran televisyen gundah gelana aku membaca article ni. I need to repent all my sins.

memori pokok teh

sneezing, burning itchy eyes .... aarrrr .. the allergy season is here. and yesterday heat was so hot and humid, enough to make my head spinning and my body weak. baru satu hari, dah rasa macam nak gol. good enough to make me not to miss home.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sayang abang


I amazed with some wives or gfs who's so impressed with their spouse/bfs.

2 weeks ago, I drove M to pick up a server he bought online. Since the husband wasnt there, the wife did all the technical talking. While M was checking the server's capacity, the wife was fanfaronaded the husband's handiness in computer.

It was this HUGE excessive pride when she talked of him.

I looked at M (he was like a kid got a new bike) and listened to the wife and I thought; M does all things she said about her husband or M did things even better, but why I mums.

In other simpler words, I am an ignorant b-yatch when it comes to husband kind deeds.

and yet I used to complain that aku ni pencacai kutuk ja.

indeed, aku kufur nikmat.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Hai susahnya


Last weekend, M and I went to winners for a quick spree. Again, due to our flabulous body, M decided to get a suitable running gear for himself and I seized the opportunity to grab one or two too.

My selection of clothing is nothing but CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP. Especially for some fiber to absorb my sweats, I dont feel the need to match my top with my bottom. let alone the brand.

M, as opposed to me, has a mandatory complusive behavior to match everything from head to toe (if he can). and price tag is the least thing he would care of (that's explained the very few trips to shopping complex in a year). While I busied strolling the clearance aisle, he was busy to find a matching outfit.

Of course, Winners offers a good price but he definitely can get extra 2 pairs at clearance aisle with a cost of adidas-less.

Well, I dont really have the right to complain a lot coz I came out with 2 pairs of shoes. His choice of course.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

bla bla blab 1


Never in my life, I would dream to make a fancy dish like Yong Tau Fu but I succesfully did.

Yes, no kidding.

But the sauce it's yet up to the notch, the belacan is overpowered the overall taste. But who cares? better than nothing.

Most importantly, a novice like M filled his plate 3 times. And it's filling enough to pass the dinner. Me like it a lot especially when M did all the dishes and cleaning.

The weather is a bit chilled compare to yesterday. My mood is ggod although I have 2 ulcers at my lower lips.

Maybe it's time for a song

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I cant swing


for the past 2 weeks coincide with my school break, I decided to resume my long-forgotten visits to the gym.

My semangat was very berkobar kobar after my easter break became an eater break and my weight had whopping to the cangkul digit.

Yes people. I am so mad at myself.

To boost my weightloss, I complimented my 2 hours (everyday) with Cabbage soup dietary and oh boy, I've lost 5lbs in only 2 days.

The results indeed made me a happy not-yet-skimpy camper but I felt the extreme rapid lost it's not what I've in mind.

Anyway, this post is not really about my weight lost yada yada. it always be my constant battle and I can go on and on infinitely until this laptop can vomit itself out.

however, since I was spending couple hrs a day in a gym after dropping M, I figure why dont i tried one of the groupexercise classes. I tried couple of those before but I never had a chance to try the one that consist dancing movements. Afterall, I can swing my booty like Julianne Hough.

It's not hurt to dream, people! ~haih~

So, in my first class of Zumba (remind me of Zuma games actually), I was thousand percent sure that I will sway like one of PCDs. Afterall, I did my homework watching DWTS and practised a few twists in the bathroom.

How bad it can be, right? afterall the studio was full with seniors (except the skinny-to-the-bone senior infront of me. Very intimidating)

the music played and we started to do mambo steps, followed by chacha and last but not least merengue. The last part is where you have to swing your buttock.

While the whole class has no problem swinging their hips 360 degree, I've seen my hips in the mirror so unbelievably stiff like a tin man from Wizard of Oz.

Some people are not meant to dance and I must be delusional to think that I can dance.

And I thought I am Shakira of the block.