Friday, February 15, 2008

Dear M bought me a box of Godiva chocolate. too bad i ate two full plates of Nasi ayam.

It was a good dinner

I really have no idea how to make a nice thick soup. A western soup kinda. I rely 110% to beloved M to cook it for us. I mean , c'mon, he was whinning non stop about my soup over and over again for the pass 7 years. Anyway, last night, after I watched "Ricardo and friends" cooking series which M hates it very much. I was so intrigued to try his yellow bell soup which looks so Yumm-O.
Hmm, since I have to go to see madame for thesis correction, I decided to buy some yellow peppers and deposited some mullahs. M called me when I was doing my shopping and asking for flowers. Idiot, he the one who should get me a bunch. Anyway, back to my dinner. M was shaking to the bone cause he was dead hungry. moi aussi mais je suis patient ( je ne sais pas que est s'apelle patient en francais). a horrid translation from english to french. No biggy.
The recipe was freaking easy and it tasted fantastic. the taste is like the soup I usually get from the university cafeteria which by the way M detests it very much. Well, he hates almost everything that is non-home cooked. The chicken suprisingly turned out to be good as well. My express dine become a pretty exquiste oh la la dinner. not bad for a valentine's night except we dont have any candle to lit up the mood.
we settled down the night with nice and easy stomach and a handful of honey roasted almonds.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mutton curry anyone?

I know tonight my heart will be pounding hard. I just ate durian and I cook mutton for dinner. and I used the curry powder from the box which is super HAWT. I cooked it once , not quite a long time ago , and it caused a massive headache and my voice.

Doesnt mean that I am allergy to the lamb or the meat is too HAWT for me to handle ~denial!denial!denial!~ I just never fancy the taste of lamb. and the cook who usually cook the lamb is none other than mr M. and I told him that I am going to cook shrimp and veges. women, we never make up our minds eh.

Anyway, I think I am going to get my anxiety attack again. I think I hogging sweet stuffs too much these days. need to cut back some sugars.

The smell of the mutton kinda irk. shudda throw it or izza too late. well let M decide.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Thesis defense

Yesterday was the worst day in my life. and the eerie bad feeling just refused to go. Never again I will want to torture my very soul for things like this ever again. NEVER.EVER.

Now I know why a friend of mine burnt all his books when he was done with school. I, 100% feel the same way and understand very much his bizarre action.

4 hours of thesis defense with some questions that I, myself failed to answer. My stupid thoughts kept on muttering, what a heck- just deal with it. If you cannot answer them, just say 'I dont fucking KNOW you all ol' bastards.' And the bastards wanted me to correct some or quite handful corrections. DANG.

dont worry my vulnerable soul, you will not have to feel worry as I need not to do another 30 minutes of yakking. I just need to toil some so-called-world -reknowned-professors satisfaction.

the thing is , I dont feel relief. WHY o Why!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

When it comes to the end, a new journey begins.

Tonight I officially cancelled my friendster account. I feel no use of having it anymore. It is cold turkey I know, but I just feel the need to do some clean up.

Oh sweet life, I dont even know how sweet it is anymore. Too many downs playrole in my recent days. too many pressures, too many heartaches, too many hates.

I just have to let go. I have to break free. I dont want to be where I am not supposed to be, where I am not welcomed to be.

From now on, I just want to stay silence. not of being mute but being voiceless. I have no story to tell or to share. no advise to give, nor opinion to share. I just a plain white wall with no expression. for now, I shall bury my sorrow deep down in me.

this blog is to share with people who really care about me. still I write it with the pleasure I solemnly want to share with people who deserve the love of true friends.

to you, the reader, who followed every step of the journey in my boring blogging life. I welcome you with warmest hugs.