character over chemistry

I am back in job hunting mode. but this time I am using Malaysian way

it's Who-you-know rather than What-you-know

We were talking about the possibility of certain job's requirement need me to travel quite a bit.
and the guy was a bit apprehensive about my marriage situation would be if I were to accept the job.

I politely told him that we are not a clingy couple who need to be in each other arms every night and day.

He misread it by thinking there's a red flag in my communion.

hahahaha

***********

M and I are two different person and personality.

I would not deny that in a heart beat.

Sometimes it makes me wonder what actually keeping us both in this marriage cause we definitely dont have the chemistry.

It's completely 2 different heads in world's politic, environment, culture or even curtain picking.

screwed that opposite attract thing cause nothing attract me with his pain opinionated whatever head may be.

but again his characters make me stick to him like a glue. not all the time but in a way of I-would-never-ever-found-a-guy-like-him.

hmm.. feel like to give my Man a big hug

I love you

the first time in my entire life I uttered these 3 words to any homosapiens alive was to M, 2 hours after the aqad.

err.. actually I think I did say I love you to Jordan Knight and Donnie Walhberg. Numerous times.
and in return, they sang a love song to me.

Percayakah? Ahaks

 ******

Few nites ago, we had a Malaysian Cultural Night. As usual, I was in-charged in cooking department with a group of amazing adiks tino and jate.
Since I promised dearest M to go back with him, I had to bid adieu before everyone else. All happy and in jolly mood, the girls thanked me and when I reached to the junction girls, they would go extra mile by saying  * I ❤ U *. to me.

Instead of saying something wise or smart like *me too!*. A foolish me just made a cricket sound and smile.

But I am more than convinced that they knew, the word " I love you " can't even translate the feelings I have for them.

How sweet and thoughtful it sounds but when it comes to the love word, it brings me more sadness than happiness.

less they know.

*******

of course, these adiks are not the 1st who proclaimed their sisterly love publicly to me.  Indeed, I didnt reply in verbally or writing that much. very rare indeed.

how easy the lips muttered those 3 words during happy moment, people have the slightest idea how despair it is when it said during tears rolling down the cheeks, minutes away to wave last goodbye with the uncertainty of future meetings. 

I still vividly remembered the *I love you kak* whispered to my ears during those goodbye hugs. the *i love you, kak* text message. the cards etc. 

it was the most intense *I love you* I could ever received from someone whose relationship with me is a 4 years (some is more) friendship.

How could I reply *I love you* when one day, without doubt,  instead with smile and laughter, it will end in tears.