Sunday, November 27, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Innanillahiwainnailahirojiun
After 7 years and almost 2 months, our little princess, Anyau, had left us. We will always remember her as our lovely furry daughter who loves clean and fresh water, loves to purr especially when she's alone and definitely loves us very very much. likewise.
We couldnt trace her body though, what's only left her decomposed body. no miracle can bring her dead body back. and I cant turn back time. I have to move on and carry the memory with me till my last breath.
I wished she will grow old with us, share more happy and sad memories, be part of Insyaa Allah our growing family. My future children will love her as much as we love her.likewise.
It just a wishful thinking.
It is a closure to know that she's in a better place. at least, as is today, I stopped looking out the door wishing her meowing outside to get in, I stopped calling out her name.
But I dont stop praying, I dont stop kissing her picture again and again.
my heart ache with bitterness. But I know she doesnt want me to feel that way. she doesnt like to see me sad and I will try not to be sad for her sake.
when things happen like this, one thing comes to mind. I thought I am sad I dont have money, I dont have job, but I dont cry if I dont have money, nor job. I dont cry cause i have what's most matter, my family.
Anyau, it is very difficult for me to let you go especially like this.
Thank you for junior, bart, hitam and dumdum.
Thank you for loving me. Please come visit me in my dreams. I miss to kiss your stinky mouth and soft fur.
I know you are in a better place. give Puff a hug for me.
I love you Tiny.
We couldnt trace her body though, what's only left her decomposed body. no miracle can bring her dead body back. and I cant turn back time. I have to move on and carry the memory with me till my last breath.
I wished she will grow old with us, share more happy and sad memories, be part of Insyaa Allah our growing family. My future children will love her as much as we love her.likewise.
It just a wishful thinking.
It is a closure to know that she's in a better place. at least, as is today, I stopped looking out the door wishing her meowing outside to get in, I stopped calling out her name.
But I dont stop praying, I dont stop kissing her picture again and again.
my heart ache with bitterness. But I know she doesnt want me to feel that way. she doesnt like to see me sad and I will try not to be sad for her sake.
when things happen like this, one thing comes to mind. I thought I am sad I dont have money, I dont have job, but I dont cry if I dont have money, nor job. I dont cry cause i have what's most matter, my family.
Anyau, it is very difficult for me to let you go especially like this.
Thank you for junior, bart, hitam and dumdum.
Thank you for loving me. Please come visit me in my dreams. I miss to kiss your stinky mouth and soft fur.
I know you are in a better place. give Puff a hug for me.
I love you Tiny.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Loss
Anyau went missing for almost 2 weeks. I never stopped making dua ever since.
For last couple days/nites, I went berserk searching her high and low. I stopped every one on the street asking and wondering they might have seen or spotted her. Ya Allah, I never felt this painful after ayah and puff died.
when i was at walk-in clinic, a guy called me and told that he saw a gray cat laying flat dead at the corner not far from my house. He looked at the poster I've posted at the bus stand and he was fairly sure it was Anyau.
It was almost 10 days ago and it was the street I take everyday to drop M. How can I missed her?
and the City said that they didnt pick up any dead animal around my neighborhood yet. A wild fox ate her cold body?
or a kind heart took her tiny body home and gave her a proper burial.
Ya Allah, if you accept all my small deeds before, I beg you please please repay me by bringing her back.
I still cant stop crying. I tried to, i try to gain some patience that I dont have. I really want her back
If she's no longer here at least ya Allah let me see her body. kiss her for a very last time. savor her last smell.
Tiny mummy, thank you so much for such a great joy you have given me this 7 years. Thank you for the endless company. Thank you for the tender stroke when I was down with tears. Thank you for always be by my side during solat jemaah and lending me your ears when I am reciting koran. Thank you for be my avid listener when I poured my heart out. Thank you for the warmth when I was cold. Thank you for sleeping beside me all day and not even bother to eat when I was sick and had to be on bed all day.
Thank you Sayang. Mummy loves Anyau. Anyau loves Mummy. forever and ever.
I am still praying and always will for you to come home my tiny princess.
For last couple days/nites, I went berserk searching her high and low. I stopped every one on the street asking and wondering they might have seen or spotted her. Ya Allah, I never felt this painful after ayah and puff died.
when i was at walk-in clinic, a guy called me and told that he saw a gray cat laying flat dead at the corner not far from my house. He looked at the poster I've posted at the bus stand and he was fairly sure it was Anyau.
It was almost 10 days ago and it was the street I take everyday to drop M. How can I missed her?
and the City said that they didnt pick up any dead animal around my neighborhood yet. A wild fox ate her cold body?
or a kind heart took her tiny body home and gave her a proper burial.
Ya Allah, if you accept all my small deeds before, I beg you please please repay me by bringing her back.
I still cant stop crying. I tried to, i try to gain some patience that I dont have. I really want her back
If she's no longer here at least ya Allah let me see her body. kiss her for a very last time. savor her last smell.
Tiny mummy, thank you so much for such a great joy you have given me this 7 years. Thank you for the endless company. Thank you for the tender stroke when I was down with tears. Thank you for always be by my side during solat jemaah and lending me your ears when I am reciting koran. Thank you for be my avid listener when I poured my heart out. Thank you for the warmth when I was cold. Thank you for sleeping beside me all day and not even bother to eat when I was sick and had to be on bed all day.
Thank you Sayang. Mummy loves Anyau. Anyau loves Mummy. forever and ever.
I am still praying and always will for you to come home my tiny princess.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
before and after
I am an avid reader to few traveler's blogs.
During my younger years, I would not miss a bit to any opportunity to travel, let it be abroad or just local places.
I in fact started to travel alone since at a tender age of 18.
And I did continue that hobby with best friend and sister no.1
But after I got married, M pretty much err emm only travels in certain condition. Backpack or cheap motels and hotels is out of question.
So not freaking me.
Nevertheless, how much I thought I am so missing to travel to interesting places, the feeling is not as strong as wanting to go for Haj.
Honestly, besides going back to Malaysia, the only place that I would die to go now is Mecca Al Mukaramah, to be the guest of Allah AWT.
Not an umrah but Haj. Please ya Allah , please make it soon. Amiinnn
During my younger years, I would not miss a bit to any opportunity to travel, let it be abroad or just local places.
I in fact started to travel alone since at a tender age of 18.
And I did continue that hobby with best friend and sister no.1
But after I got married, M pretty much err emm only travels in certain condition. Backpack or cheap motels and hotels is out of question.
So not freaking me.
Nevertheless, how much I thought I am so missing to travel to interesting places, the feeling is not as strong as wanting to go for Haj.
Honestly, besides going back to Malaysia, the only place that I would die to go now is Mecca Al Mukaramah, to be the guest of Allah AWT.
Not an umrah but Haj. Please ya Allah , please make it soon. Amiinnn
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