kon'nichiwa Nihon-san

During our lunch-date at Japanese all-u-can-eat restaurant, I mentioned to M that if I need a place to crash in Japan, I always have a friend who is now residing in Japan but will go back to homeland soon in October, okay not so always. I told M about the tale that my friend had gone through. She took unpaid leave just to follow dear hubby who was very much wanted to pursue his Master's degree. they both applied for JPA, which for my friend's side was for the sake of pleasure and end-up, she got the scholar and the husband; niet. How pathetic is that. Since M is so anything-about-Japan-awe-inspiring, I asked him whether he is interested to live in Japan. Biensur, replied M. " and why we both apply for japan scholarship, once I am done with my Master's." "Excuse me,hon, WE?" and when on earth do I agree to do PhD and in Japan?!!. I felt like one sushi stuck in my throat or I felt like I just ate the poisonous fish that the usual Japanese resto has.
My oh my, did he leave his disfunctional memory somewhere. To reason his thoughts, I asked him whether he is very much willingly to let go his effing-figure salary for a poverty life aka student's life. And for myself, I dont mind taking a TESL certificate and teach English in Japan although my English is barely half step advanced than the Japanese themselves. but why bother asking me to take PhD. I lost my appetite of the unneccesary that he brought up. thank God, I've finished one bowl of rice with Salmon terriyaki, 1 bowl of edamame, 3 shrimps tempura, half plate of calamari tempura and 3 rolls of sushi. and I lost count on how much cup of green teas i've dunked.

To do list

1. update resume

2. find a job

3. get a job

will update from time to time

this is my fav malay song when I was in malaysia and I played it out loud when it was aired on the radio. I listened the song 1st time when I saw Nubhan of AF6 sung this song. I like him probably to his chinese look but he indeed have a nice voice although not really a good singer. what the heck. I dont really bother with any reality shows except for drop dead gorgeous michael johns.
I wonder if any malay guys feel toward me like in this song in those yesteryears..
hmmm ..let me count.. sepuluh, dua puluh, sembilan... uh uh - angka kosong jer.

anyway, another song that kinda get my rock kapak attention


why-lah all the asean gals they all are so freaking skinny and extra small size. tak cukup makan ke dik, harga beras dah naik. am so freaking stress to look up for my extra large size clothing. my waist line and bulging belly has enter to danger zone. SOS. should I join the curves or should I keep it low as I am experiencing mullah drainage right now. the latter would be the right choice right now.

Graduate of 2008

Yeay I am graduated at last. with a bow and shake hand. Hoorah, I am no longer attached to any boring school stuff. M was hinting that I might hit back the road in 2 years but I was so determined to make this as my last schooling experience. I was a bit dismayed that I may not have familiar face/s to celebrate with but luckily I saw Scott who lined up right behind me and sat beside me throughout the commencement. It was an extra special too cause M was there and I could see his jolly face among the audiences taking picture of me. mak like usual kept blowing a flying kiss and I spotted my aunt with a very bright red shirt struggled to stand on the chair to snap a 10 seconds of moi standing right front of the audience while my name was announced profusely.
nevertheless the whole excitement was duped by the nature call disruption at the beginning of the ceremony. I'd peed before the march but what on earth i still want to weewee.. turned out I got red flag and we have to chase home right away after one of the historic momentos of my life was done. Mak and mummy was abit dissapointed I had to change my gown and hood quickly and they havent got a chance to snap my picture solo on stage. apparently, God's gift have to attain foremost.

She's leaving on the jetplane

I had a chance to spend quality time with mak for almost 2 months. but alas, things didnt came out as I planned/wished. After 4 years of separation and the contact medium was only telephone, I found that mak has formed to a new 'ripe' woman who thinks that she can handle things all by herself in her own way. Which in our travel conditions or in my way of dealing official matters with government officers doesnt sync very well with hers. It left me with abundant stress, raging hormones, and sadly buckets of tears. I always get my way with M thru tears but not with my defiant mak. She became a bureacratic-colonial nightmare and I, opposite to that, was battled to stand for what I believe in while tried so hard no to hurting her over-sensitively feelings.
I love my mak dearly. I am glad I have relinquished the traditional uptight bringing ( or an ol' boyish me) of a NO-NO hugging or kissing dear mom. I want to kiss her forehead or her cheeks while she's still breathing and tell her how much I love her or whatnot. Although I have been a total spoiled of not going to kitchen at all for the month and half but in 10 days of her stays in Canada, I cooked (although I know she would complained or commented later to my sisters), cleaned or things that I can do to serve her. M also was a charm. Although I know at times, she may feel annoyed at me but with M, she felt that she was well-respected by her son-in-law. maybe the liz claiborne stilletos does the trick. hmm.. I wonder.
To mak, whatever it is. I love you with all my heart, my deepest apology for any misdeeds I have done and hurting words I have spilled. Never any of these incidents were intended. I think.

Mak, I wished you well and have a healthy life and longer years to live so we will be able to do this again. hopefully you are strong enough to take care of me during my labor days. Not it will come so soon. So mak stay healthy and take good care of yourself.

love XOXO ~axxx~